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What I learned from Shaving my head
I am not even able to count how many times in the past year I have said,” I never expected THIS to happen.”
I could feel burning on my scalp
I was hospitalized for I was hospitalized 3 days before my 52nd birthday due to blood loss. It was unexpected and drastic. I was confused as I have been athletic all my life and only go to the doctor for physicals or whatever is required. I’m not sure anyone can prepare you for getting a stage 4 cancer diagnosis let alone going through chemo. Being bald or shaving my head was not in my plan. The weekly treatments were not as bad as I made up in my head however it did cause my hair to fall out in clumps. At first it was gradual and I thought, “this is not at ALL like the movies.” Pretty soon though it was like what I had seen portrayed in a movie. Big massive clumps I would pull out all day long. It felt like straw and sometimes I could feel burning on my scalp after all chemo is acid.
I knew it was time to let go
What I realized is my attachment to hair. What will I look like? Will I wear a wig and what will that be like. Will other people think it’s weird? One thing I have counseled others on is the process of letting go. In order to let go one thing I prescribe is writing a letter to the person or “thing,” you struggle to let go of. So I decided it was my turn to write a write a letter to my hair. I had some sadness and it made the cancer feel more real and that there is something really wrong with my and my body. It made me feel weak and fragile.
The journey from hearing I had cancer has been all about learning to heal my whole self
I wrote a letter to my hair it was a very powerful experience allowing myself to feel the loss and also the magic in letting go of it. My journey has been all about healing my WHOLE self and hair was part of that. I decided to make it a positive experience versus a negative one or stay stuck in fear. I wrote my letter in the sunshine, and I began to let it out which helped me let it go. I cried and I smiled. It was an experience that was led by the divine. I encourage you to write one with whatever you are going through. May you have a profound experience of letting go.
https://youtu.be/-Y_Wk9_gxxg?si=J9bspTygLzKBEVvF
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I am here to educate and inspire others to create healing in their lives. I have been a counselor for many years counseling others helping them emotionally. .I did not realize until I was diagnosed with Metastatic Breast cancer how much more healing I needed in my own life. I had my IDEAs of what my path would be. I totally ignored God’s plan and yet cried out to Him all the time to fulfill my dreams and soothe my ache on my spiritually dead life. He gave me a miracle. My mission is to spread hope and help people move out of suffering from disease by educating in methods outside of the medical model.
https://youtu.be/efGMfLpHqHo
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